The Glorious Giraffeness of Everything!

I'm not getting different glasses!

After a week of my daughter Nexi neckling at me to get some 'cool' frames, and arguing about which of the photos she'd taken of me was best, I was feeling a little nexasperated.

I turned to Maureen.

"What should I do?" I sighed.

"Nothing!" replied Maureen. "You are who you are. All the years I've known you, you've looked like Raph G. Neckmann. Don't change!"

Oh, the joy of being true to one's self and the glorious giraffeness of everything!




Yesterday one of my pans of chutney boiled over. (I admit, I was distracted by blogging, and when I was about to clear up the mess, I got dragged away to practise our song for tomorrow). What a wonderful surprise I had today, to discover the spillage on the AFF Gas cooker had set into the most beautiful giraffe-pattern!

I feel at one with the universe!

Our Daughter has the Nex Factor!

The Gleeful & Greedy Restaurant was packed on Saturday evening for the local final of the Nex Factor. It seemed as though every giraffe in the county was there to hear the finalists sing.

To cut a long story short, our family song and my sister Nektareeni's song didn't make the top three. The winner of the competition was an outstanding young singer, Nexandra.

However, there was a surprise in store for us ... Our middle child Necky Becky was awarded a special prize! When she gave her neck-bending rendering of 'Be Who You Wanna Be!' backed by local band The Stiffnex, she totally won the audience and judges over. She was way too young to enter, but had jumped up on stage last week anyway. Everyone said she had more neck than anyone, and it was decided to award her the accolade of 'The Neckiest Factor!'




You can listen to her song here: 'Be Who You Wanna Be!'

(NB: Necky Becky has just pointed out that her long-term ambition is to be a gardener, not a pop-star - but she doesn't see why that should stop her from singing if she wants to).

Aptenodytes Giraffa

I haven't told you about our Giraffe World Tours outing on Sunday, have I?

We had decided, by popular demand, to have a mid-winter trip to see the penguin colonies. After picking up our tourists at the village green, we headed seaward and along the coast to the mountains. There is a route through the peaks via Narrowneck Pass which is kept clear of snow by the mountain dwellers, and there was just room for our bus.

Once over the other side, we gasped at the immense and awe-inspiring landscape which stretched before us. Folds and hollows, peaks and crevasses of snow and ice in spectral colours of astounding beauty.

I parked the bus at the bottom of a gentle slope so we could all stretch our legs. Looking back, Necky Becky and her neckshund Hals were the only moving forms in this silent scene.

It was too cold to walk very far, so we settled back into our snug seats on the bus to continue on our quest for penguins. The rare long-necked penguin, (Aptenodytes giraffa), can only be found in this region and it is a fortunate visitor who gets a glimpse of these affable creatures.

Our luck was in!




There at the edge of the snow-field a small group of the penguins came waddling past. As we slowed down, they turned their heads from side to side and looked almost as if they were nodding a giraffe greeting!

We did not stop, for fear of disturbing them. I felt quite moved, and pondered on the inter-connectedness of everything as I drove our bus homeward. I wonder if there are penguins on other planets?

Anagrams and Alter Egos

Hail O Wordsmith of Middenshire!

I received today such splendid anagrams of my name from the above gentleman. They are listed here as he wrote them:

Graph McKennan
Ken McPhragann
Prankman Cheng

The rather mysterious;
N. Phanckmanger

and a law enforcement officer;
PC Hank Germann.

What wonderful times I would have with these characters as alter egos! As Graph McKennan I would be a cult comic artist. I'd run a successful haulage company as Ken McPhragann's Wagons. The rather mysterious N. Phanckmanger would be a rich banker, and as PC Hank Germann I'd be able to read people's thoughts.

But best of all I'd like to be Prankman Cheng! What a transformation for mild-mannered me ...

Thank you!

Posting instead of posting ...

The last couple of days have been so busy, I haven't had time to post until now! Maureen and I have been writing all our cards to make sure we get them sent off on time.


Our toddler son Littl' Nicky accompanied us to the village very early this morning. It was rather foggy, but we had no trouble spotting the post-box!


As we made our way home, the mist dispersed, and the winter sun shone majestically from behind the clouds. We walked the rest of the way in a silent yet exuberant reverie. We love our world.

Girth and Cake

Here at Necky Knoll House the words 'Girth' and 'cake' are synonymous, and they've both just arrived on our doorstep.

Allow me to introduce our own celebrity chef and his glamorous partner, Nektareeni, (who happens to be my sister).



Together they run the Gleeful & Greedy Restaurant in the village, and what a popular eating place it is!

Passionate about cooking, (and Nektareeni!), Girth loves to try out his new recipes over here. His booming voice fills the entire house as he mutters and chortles over his creations. "Foooood, get it down your necks everybody!"

Later this evening we'll be dining on Spicy Parsneck Soup, followed by Nektareeni's Hotlipped Hotpot. Our dessert will be Gleeful & Greedy Custard Pudding. All are cherished recipes of Girth's, tried and tested here and famous throughout Knollshire!

For now, we're going to start on the cake ...

Not all Giraffes like Sprouts!

One of the things about blogging that is so fascinating is reading about your wonderful human traditions and customs. I am learning that sprouts are a very important item on the menu in winter and part of your festivities.

Here in Giraffe World sprouts play a large part in our staple diet - all year round. We have developed many different varieties to stagger growth throughout the seasons. Not only do we find them delicious, they also provide most of our eco-friendly energy supply - AFF Gas.
I was so pleased today to discover an exciting new recipe for Sprout Soup on one of my favourite blogs - you can find it on Melrose Musings. It sounds exquisite, and I shall inform Girth of the recipe this evening. It will be on our tables forthwith!
However, not all of us will partake. Necky Becky has steadfastly refused sprouts all her young life! She prefers to eat chocolate.

La Vie En Rose

Maureen and I were listening to the legendary Edith Piaf yesterday evening. Dancing together to 'La Vie En Rose', I felt a huge 'Thank You' to Maureen welling up in my heart.
2008 has been a momentous year for me; escaping from accountancy, moving house and setting up the new business. Through it all Maureen has been there, encouraging, affirming, keeping my feet on the ground, steering me away from my wilder ideas, and above all being with me.

In all the hurly-burly of business, balance sheets and trying to make ends meet, it is easy to overlook the unmeasurable support of one's loved ones. It may be your partner, a family member or a special friend.



Who has helped you most on the path of your dreams this year? Give them a special token of your appreciation today ...
A little 'Vie En Rose' goes a long way!

(Special Christmas message from I.S. to I.P)

Season's Greetings to all our Friends!

Warmest Season's Greetings to all our Friends!

Special Good Wishes to all my wonderful new bloggy friends - those who are Google subscribers and also all my other readers. May you have a wonderful Christmas and much happy blogging henceforth!

Sport, sport, marvellous sport, permits a giraffe some sobriety ..

I have no interest in sport whatsoever. Oh, but how grateful I am to benefit from a sibling-squabble-free environment, thanks to marvellous sport!

Nukkle has taken his nephew and Necky Becky to the football match in Raffsburgh. Littl' Nicky is at the Gleeful & Greedy Restaurant with his auntie and uncle, where they are holding their annual 'Bounciest Custard' competition.


Nexi and her boyfriend Neko have gone ice skating.


What a haven of peace and tranquillity for Maureen and me! Maureen is at her beautiful carved desk by the window, writing with her antique quill pen. I am at the kitchen table typing on my necktop.

We've had a wonderful family time over the last few days, but isn't it lovely to get a bit of peace!

Sharp Dressed Neckmann

I've decided on my costume for our New Year's Eve Fancy Dress Party!

Initially I had thought of going as Prankman Cheng, but it would have been too complicated for Nexi to sew at such short notice. Who could I be? I was getting my neck in a bit of a twist about it, so I started singing to cheer myself up. As I began one of my favourite songs, 'Sharp Dressed Man', there I had it! I'll be 'Sharp Dressed Neckmann' - in true ZZ Top attire!

Nexi threw up her hands in mock despair when I told her, and said I'd be better calling myself 'Zzzz Up Top'. However, she promised to get my costume together - just a beard, hat and dark glasses really. I'm borrowing one of Neko's guitars, (as long as I promise not to play it ...)


How on earth am I going to eat my sprouts and New Year Pudding with this on?





I've been watching a film of the song, so I get all the actions right. I love the bit where they both kind of bend their knees in synchronisation.

This is going to be fantastic - I so love this track! Hey, everybody ... does Raph rock?!!

Necky Knoll New Year Greetings!

Happy New Year Everyone! To all our friends, human and giraffe, bloggers and readers!

Our fancy dress party yesterday was hilarious! After wishing our guests a merry farewell, we grabbed a couple of hours' sleep, then got up to watch our early Giraffe World sunrise.

Gathered on our drive, we experienced a magical moment as the sun emerged from the grey sky. Shafts of golden light illuminated the Knollshire landscape and the copses of bare trees seemed to reach up to drink in the new sunlight. We stood in silence for a few moments. Gently Maureen started to sing our special family song, 'With our Necks Entwined'. 

May your Year be luminous, harmonious and fun, dear friends!

Birthday Greetings to our special friend, Brendy Neckson!

Feeding our World's Tallest Giraffe

The Weaver of Grass and The Solitary Walker both left such kind comments on my New Year's Day post, regarding the abundance of my food supply.

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This jogged something in my memory about an article in the Knollshire News a few years ago. I have managed to find it in our cuttings file.

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A nextraordinarily tall wild giraffe had appeared on the Neckmoors north of Raffsburgh. The Rangers were concerned that she couldn't comfortably bend her long neck sufficiently to reach down to the trees for food. After much discussion it was decided to charter a helicopter to fly up portions of fresh green shoots from the nearby Biomass Plantation.

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(We have a dual energy supply here in Knollshire, from Biomass and our AFF Gas).

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'Granny' as she was affectionately named, spent a year on the Neckmoors, before heading north towards the Far Mountains. It is believed that other Giraffa camelopardalis giganteum dwell there, so we hope she has found plenty of friends - and food!

Our Family Favourites

Necky Becky has insisted that I include a post about our favourite presents this year! Who am I to argue ...

First of all, she would have everyone know that her 'bestest pressie' was the pencil case printed with the image of a wild giraffe sticking it's tongue out. A pose which she now proudly emulates whenever she can!

Next in her order of importance is, of course, her beloved Neckshund dog Hals. He received a football, which we have all fallen over several times in the last week.



Nexi couldn't decide which of her presents was her favourite - she loves them all. She received lots of nailvarnish and other strong-smelling items with which to paint herself, her room, everyone else's room, and anything else she can get her hands on.

Toddler Littl' Nicky also follows the artistic line and has been enjoying his new paints and easel. His painting below is a portrait of me.

Which leaves Maureen and I! We had many beautiful gifts. Maureen received a bottle of her favourite honey drink, I have a subscription to the Raffsburgh Astronomical Society, and we both have stacks of new books to read.

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Best of all is our special Intergalactic Viewing Box. Fitted to our TV, it receives many extra Planet Earth channels, enabling us to see some of the wonderful films and music performances recommended by our dear new bloggy friends!

Hearty, Healthy Takeaway Meals!

All the seasonal talk about dieting is making me think about food constantly ...

It therefore seems like a good time to give you a little 'taste' of Girth's hearty healthy takeaway meals. There is not really a lot I need to say about them other than that they are delicious, highly nutritious and exceedingly popular. It would appear that the residents of Neckelchester hardly cook at all, so in demand are the Gleeful & Greedy meals!
Maybe one day Girth will let me post one or two of his secret recipes!

Interviewed by Willow!

What an honour! I am being interviewed by Willow!

Pondering Willow's questions during the small hours gave me much food for thought and I filled several sheets of paper with my ruminations ... I've cut out a lot of my giraffe waffle and streamlined my answers to blog-size!
At the end of the post I will give an invitation to you, fellow bloggers, to be interviewed by me.
Here are Willow's wonderful interview questions!
1. How did you meet your inspiration, the lovely Ms. Maureen?

My first meeting with Maureen Treeging, my dear wife? Ah, now that is a whole story in itself! One that is complex, emotional and far too lengthy to be told in a few sentences. I will not spoil the story for you for the future; for now I give you the setting:


'On the wild Neckmoors north of Raffsburgh grows a forest ...'


2. What is your idea of perfect happiness?

The word 'perfect' makes this question particularly interesting! Lots of things make me 'ordinarily' happy, most of them quite simple, such as a nice cup of tea or a walk in the woods, and of course, the company of folk I love and like.

However, I see happiness more as a choice - and a very active state of mind, rather than a reaction to pleasant things. I desire what is often referred to as 'background happiness' - the state of being free from 'what if?' thoughts and niggly worries, even in worrying circumstances. This requires, (for me), a lot of hard graft, practise and mental discipline, but - oh yes - it does work! Gradually ...



Then there are those transcendent moments of happiness, which are closest to perfection ... those unbidden 'glimpses' - when suddenly there is an upsurge of pure joy, a bubbling of a kind of golden fountain that seems to rise from within. Difficult to describe, but you'll know what I mean if you get them too!

3. What is your most marked characteristic?


My neck? Probably, to humans - although in Giraffe World it is very commonplace!


Or maybe my perpetual expression of bemused intelligence??
4. Other than your loved ones, what is your most treasured possession?

I appreciate and enjoy all my many possessions, but those things I treasure most I do not 'possess'. You cannot hold them, I feel they kind of flow through you and multiply by sharing; hope, love, affection, encouragement, inspiration and humour - oh yes, exuberant, gleeful humour!
(And I am very fond of my new telescope!)

5. What is your motto?


'Stick Your Neck Out For Your Dreams!'



Or in its longer version: 'Giraffitude! finding out who you are and sticking your neck out for your dreams with integrity, respect for others and gleeful fun!'

Thank you for interviewing me, Willow!
Here are the directions;
1. Leave me a comment saying, "Interview me."
2. I will respond by emailing you five questions. (I get to pick the questions).
3.You will update your blog with the answers to the questions.
4. You will include this explanation and an offer to interview someone else in the same post.
5. When others comment asking to be interviewed, you will ask them five questions.
Go on - stick your neck out and dare ... I'll be nice to you!
Do, please still leave comments, even if you don't want to be interviewed - I love your comments!

An Interview with Classic Independence!

It has been a priviledge to interview Classic Independence. Please click on Muse See Do for a most interesting and inspiring read, and to leave your comments there.

Thank you Classic Independence! I have really enjoyed interviewing you and your answers have given me some great things to ponder through the day.

Garden Design - Giraffe Style! (Part One)

Our toddler Littl' Nicky announced this morning that he wanted to help with our yearly garden planning. I suggested a stroll outside, as it was a bright day. He led the way on a grand tour of the environs of Necky Knoll House. There was such a lot to see ... I sometimes make the mistake of thinking there's not much going on in a garden at this time of year - Littl' Nicky does not. He missed nothing!

With regard to the design of a giraffe garden, I suspect ours have a slightly taller emphasis than yours, dear bloggy friends. We often juxtapose low ground-cover with very high planting, which could possibly look a little out of balance in a human garden.

Littl' Nicky has asked me to show you a picture of his best sunflower from last summer. It grew very happily by our back porch, flourishing under his conscientious watering and friendly chatter.


While looking for Littl' Nicky's sunflower picture, I came across some old photographs I had almost forgotten. Many years ago I took a part-time course in Horticulture at Raffsburgh College. (Such a rapturous and necessary contrast to work, during my accounting years!) One of our tasks was to create our own garden. Each student was allocated a long strip of land, half of which was to be planted with specified vegetables, with the other half left to our budding designer imaginations! All herbaceous plants and vegetables had to be grown by us from seed.

I leave you with this photograph of my plot at the glorious digging stage. Ah, the smell of the turned earth as it thudded off my garden fork - I remember it all!

Next post - the finished design! (Can you bear to wait?)

NB: Note to my bloggy friends: Thursday - I'm having trouble with my Interneck connection at present so please be patient regarding the next post - Garden Design Part Two. I had intended to publish it today!

Garden Design - Giraffe Style! (Part Two)

As Littl' Nicky helped me dig this morning, I benefitted from his untrammelled imagination as he chattered about his ideas for summer planting themes!

He was eager to help me sort my photographs for today's post. Yes! Our Interneck connection is restored - I can publish again ...


Having concluded my previous post with a photo of my plot freshly dug and ready to overwinter, I will begin with another side-view.


Here we have the specified vegetables to the right, and my emerging garden design on the left.

Now, follow me round to the front of the design ...
*The following photo is actually two photographs stuck together, (small pre-digital camera!!) I've 'healed' the join but it is still a little visible.




Your first view of a Giraffe Garden in progress! High nibbleable trees and the beginnings of the summer display of mixed planting with food, fragrance and colour.

You may be wondering how I contrived to grow tall trees so swiftly - I did not ... These are very long prunings from willows. I merely stuck them in the ground in the early winter to root and grow leaves. Instant height from material which would otherwise have been discarded.



A closer look at the fence reveals more willow. I chose different coloured stems to weave into the pattern, and echoed the colours in the planting scheme.

I love warm shades of orange, yellow and red in flowers and foliage. The path to the little seating area was edged with white ageratum and zaluzianskya capensis for heavenly perfume. Close to the fence grew taller leaf beet rhubarb chard, bronze fennel and up against the willow trees I planted sunflowers - Helianthus 'Pastiche'.

Carrying on the theme of mixed food and decorative plants, you can see lettuce 'Lollo Rossa' and 'Sangria' among the marigolds. Part of our task as students was to grow our own plants from seed in the college glasshouses, giving us the rewarding experience of tending our plants right from their beginnings.

Amaranthus caudatus 'Crimson', Basil 'Purple Ruffles' and Antirrhinum 'Black Prince' continue the colour scheme in a cascade of height and colour.

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I loved my little plot! All summer we tended and watered our handiwork, and when the course came to an end, it was a real wrench to leave. Happy memories indeed!

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So, my friends ... your introduction to Giraffe Gardening. I hope you have enjoyed the experience!

NB: I've just read a beautiful and evocative garden poem by Tom Atkins at Summit Manor - call over there and read it!