Sunday, 21 April 2013

Trachelus Aplombus

What a nexcitingly busy week it has been! Dear bloggy friends, I have hardly had the time to visit you all - we have been so up-to-the-neck in our entrepreneurial Tours preparations. But now at last I have blissful moments to write another blog post ...

Before we continue with our little kitchen story, I thought I would introduce you to our wonderful plumber and AFF Gas engineer, Rich, aka Trachelus Aplombus. As Barbara Martin so observantly commented on my last post, Rich wears a helmet and what looks like a neck brace.

Allow me to explain. For his 'day job' Rich is chief engineer at the AFF Gas Station. (AFF stands for Anatomically Friendly Flatulence, our ecologically sound renewable energy source). And what a nexcellent engineer he is - always ready to help his friends with their plumbing and appliances.
However, Rich's talents and interests extend far further, right back into our ancient history! Under the pen-name Trachelus Aplombus, Rich has written several most neckworthy history books, including 'Myths & Legends of Giraffe World' and 'The Historie of Knollshire'.

We are very lucky indeed to have him act as Guide on our Giraffe World Tours. At the end of a day working on the pipes at the AFF Gas Station, Rich removes his boilersuit with a flambuoyant flourish, and lo! There he stands resplendent in full centurion's uniform - helmet, neckpieces - all lovingly restored and polished.

Two of my favourite historical paintings are in his Knollshire book. (I do have his permission to reproduce them on my blog!)

The first shows a centurion gazing over the parapet of our historic Wall, The Long Neck. The Long Neck was built along the northern edge of Knollshire many centuries ago. Not, of course, for purposes of war! The story of the Wall is best told by Trachelus Aplombus himself, and I shall hopefully not keep you waiting too long for this pleasure ...
The Sentries of the Neck were highly trained. Our game Giraffe World Hopscotch was first devised for them as a fitness nexercise.

Sentries of the Neck were not allowed to marry until their time of service was over. However, many of them had an 'unofficial' wife living at one of the villages along The Long Neck, with whom they raised a family ready to move in with when they were discharged. The picture above shows such a sentry throwing a rose down to his beloved, while his companions pretend not to notice!